Stop Setting Yourself Up to Fail! How to Set Goals You Can Actually Reach.
Are you tired of setting goals and never actually reaching them? Especially those big, hairy, audacious weight loss goals. You know the ones – 'Lose 50 pounds by summer!' or 'Finally fit into those jeans from a decade ago!' You get all fired up, maybe even buy a new notebook and some fancy pens, you download the tracker, you pin all those healthy recipes, you make plans to go to the gym every morning at 5am…you do ok for a few days, maybe even a few weeks if you’re lucky and then… life starts to get in the way and you slowly start creeping back into old habits.
Sound familiar? You're not alone!
Think about those big weight loss goals like wanting to build your dream house. We often get all excited picturing the amazing kitchen, the cozy living room, the fixtures, the paint colors... but we totally skip over the boring stuff like pouring the concrete foundation, framing the walls, and making sure the plumbing actually works! We just imagine the Pinterest-worthy decor and hope it all magically comes together.
Today, we're ditching that 'wishful thinking' and grabbing our tool belts. Let's approach this like the builder building the house, laying one solid brick at a time, following a clear blueprint, to create a strong, sustainable home that you can truly live in and enjoy.
Your Big Goal and The Three Whys
Alright, first things first: what's your big goal? Let's say it's to 'lose 35 pounds.' That's great! It's specific. But here's where we often stumble: we don't really connect with why that goal is important beyond the number on the scale. And when the going gets tough (spoiler alert: it will!)That number alone isn't always enough to keep you motivated.
So, grab a pen and ask yourself: Why is losing 35 pounds important to me (insert your goal here)?
Your first answer might be something like, 'To feel better.' Okay, that's a good start! But we're going deeper. Now ask yourself: Why is feeling better important to me?
Maybe your answer is, 'So I have more energy to play with my kids and I'm not always feeling so sluggish.' Awesome! We're getting warmer. But let's go one more round: Why is having more energy to play with your kids and not feeling sluggish important to you?
Perhaps your final answer is, 'Because I’m tired of missing out on the fun and the memories because I’m afraid of how I’ll look. Afraid I won’t be able to do it. Or afraid I’ll be embarrassed if I can’t keep up and feel like I’m holding everyone else back. I want to be an active and present parent, create lasting memories with my family, not always sitting on the sidelines!’ That's your anchor. That's the deep, meaningful reason that will pull you through those tough days when a couch and a bag of chips seem way more appealing than a healthy meal or a workout. Keep digging until you hit that emotional core – your 'why' needs to have some oomph behind it!
Break It Down
Now that you've found your powerful 'why,' let's look at that big goal again – 'lose 35 pounds.' Instead of staring at that giant mountain, thinking of how long it's gonna take. How hard it's gonna be. Wondering if you’ll ever actually be able to make it to the top. Let's break it down into smaller, more manageable steps.
So, what are some smaller goals that will lead you to that 35-pound mark? Maybe it's focusing on losing in 10lb increments. That's what I did when I had 50+lbs to lose. Thinking about losing just 10 lbs at a time felt much more doable and much less overwhelming than wondering if I’d actually be able to stick to anything long enough to lose the whole 50lbs. Or perhaps it's focusing on incorporating one healthy habit per week, like eating more protein at every meal or adding a daily walk. These smaller wins build momentum and keep you feeling accomplished along the way. Plus, they're way less intimidating to tackle!
Reality Check - Your REAL Life Action Tasks
Okay, you've got your smaller goals. Now, let's make sure they’re practical. What are the actual actions you need to take to reach those mini-milestones? This is where the rubber meets the road, and where a lot of well-intentioned goals go to die.
Instead of saying 'I'll eat healthier,' get specific: 'I will meal prep and make all my lunches for the week' Instead of 'I'll exercise more,' try 'I will go for a 20-minute walk on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.'
And here's the crucial part: be honest with yourself about what's actually doable in your REAL life right now. If your schedule is already packed tight, adding an hour-long gym session five days a week is probably setting yourself up for stress and failure. Start small, be realistic, and build from there. Remember, slow and steady wins the race (and keeps you sane in the process!).
Speaking of sanity, let's talk about not trying to overhaul your entire life overnight.I know that it's tempting to think that the more that you do, the faster the weight will come off but doing too much too soon often just backfires.
Trying to drastically change your diet, start a rigorous exercise routine, and overhaul your sleep schedule all in one week is a recipe for overwhelm and burnout. Instead, pick one or two small, manageable changes to focus on at a time. Once those become a habit, you can layer on another one.
Dodging the Roadblocks
Let's face it - life WILL throw you curveballs. There will be days when you're stressed, tired, or surrounded by temptations. Think back to building your dream house. Even the best projects hit snags – material delays, bad weather, unexpected issues. Pretending your weight loss journey will be perfectly smooth is like expecting your house will be built without any hiccups. Smart builders have backup plans. We need our 'if/then' plans for those inevitable bumps in the road.
Think about the things that have derailed you in the past, or things you anticipate might be challenging. Maybe it's emotional eating after a tough day, social gatherings with lots of unhealthy food, or simply feeling too tired to cook.
Now, create some 'if/then' plans. For example:
If I have a really stressful day at work, then I will take a 10-minute walk outside instead of reaching for comfort food.
If I'm at a party, then I will offer to bring a healthy dish and focus on socializing rather than just eating.
If I'm feeling too tired to cook dinner, then I will have a quick and easy pre-prepared healthy meal or order a healthy takeout option (and actually list those healthy choices out ;) ).
Having these backup plans in place can be a real lifesaver and keep you on track.
Do Something Everyday To Stay Focused on Your Goals
Life gets chaotic, you're gonna get busy. When that happens it's really easy to let that spiral and lose focus. That's why I like to do something every day that helps to remind me what I’m working towards.
This doesn't have to be a huge time commitment. It could be:
Journaling: Spending 5 minutes writing down your intentions for the day or reflecting on your progress.
Meditation: A short mindfulness practice to stay present and reduce stress.
Listening to a motivating podcast or audiobook
Reviewing your 'why': A quick reminder of your deeper motivations.
Visualizing your success: Spending a few minutes imagining yourself reaching your goals and how good it will feel.
Assess Often
Finally, remember that your journey isn't set in stone. Just when building your house, you might need to make adjustments along the way. Regularly check in with your goals and your progress. Ask yourself:
What's going well? What habits are feeling easier?
What feels challenging? Are there any roadblocks popping up consistently?
What small changes can I make to make things a little easier for myself?
Am I still feeling connected to my 'why'?
Am I making progress, even if it's not as fast as I initially hoped?
This isn't about judgment; it's about gathering information and making informed decisions. If something isn't working, don't be afraid to tweak it. Your goals are yours, and you have the power to adjust them as needed."
Setting goals that actually stick isn't about being perfect or having superhuman willpower. It's about understanding your motivations, breaking things down into manageable steps, being realistic about your life, planning for challenges, staying focused, and being willing to adapt along the way. So grab your pen, and let's create that plan that will help you to actually reach your goals, one step at a time.
Need help planning your goals? I created a worksheet to help you out - you can grab your FREE copy HERE.